A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern
Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn - the wife likes
to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife
decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and
continues to read her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside
the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing? "
"Reading a book," she replies, thinking, Isn't that obvious?
"You're in a restricted fishing area" , he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"
says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you" , says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know
you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am" and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
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TOP TEN REASONS WHY THERE ARE NO BLACK NASCAR DRIVERS...
10) HAVE TO SIT UPRIGHT WHILE DRIVING.
09) PISTOL WON'T STAY UNDER FRONT SEAT.
08) ENGINES DROWN OUT THE RAP MUSIC.
07) PIT CREW CAN'T WORK ON CAR WHILE HOLDING UP PANTS
AT THE SAME TIME.
06) THEY KEEP TRYING TO CARJACK RUSTY WALLACE.
05) POLICE CARS ON TRACK INTERFERE WITH RACE.
04) NO PASSENGER SEAT FOR THE HO.
03) THERE ARE NO SPONSORS FOR CADILLAC.
02) CAN'T WEAR HELMET SIDEWAYS.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR:
01) WHEN THEY CRASH THEIR CAR THEY BAIL OUT AND RUN.
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Maybe this will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1904 . one hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes!
Here are some of the U.S. statistics for 1904:
The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.
There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.
With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower! .
The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents an hour.
The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
a dentist $2,500 per year,
a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and
a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home.
Ninety percent of all U.S. physicians had no college education.
Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason.
The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars.
Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was 30!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two of 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores.
According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health." (Shocking!)
Eighteen percent of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant or domestic.
There were only about 230 reported murders in the entire U. S.
And I forwarded this from someone else without typing it myself, and sent it to you in a matter of seconds! Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years . it staggers the mind. (I received this in 04)
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2 comments:
Well you never know when someone with the right equipment will be tempted to use it on the drop of a dime. Some even know how to use it.
Who would have thought that if a woman could read she would also be able to think. No one knew we could do both. Especially if we are blondes.
#2 reply now thats funny...
all things considered... haha
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